Well, I decided to race the 2010 Spinx Runfest Half Marathon. My early season plan was to run the Spinx Runfest Full Marathon with my wife, Karina. It was going the first full marathon for each of us. Alas, we were also trying to get pregnant, and the full marathon was a backup plan in case we had not gotten pregnant by then. Well, she is due to have our second baby in early February, so us racing the full will have to wait. I plan on doing a full marathon, but I think it is best if I wait until I can run one with Karina.
After last week's break through race I have been reevaluating my race schedule for the fall. I still have the Beach2Battleship HIM race as my 'A' race, but I also want to see how well I can do in the half marathon. The Half Ironman is on November 13th, and the Half Marathon is on October 30th. So I don't think the events are too close together or that the Runfest race will hurt my performance in the HIM.
I found a nice training plan in Runner's World, and it fits perfectly with the time I have left before Runfest. The plan was a 10 week plan and the first workout was the day I decided to use that plan. So basically I replaced all of the run workouts in my half Ironman training plan with the run workouts from the Runner's world plan.
The runner's world plan is to help a runner finish the half in less than 2 hours, but my goal for the race is to finish in less than 2 hours and 10 minutes. I am trying to do the workouts, and so far (three workouts) I have been able to do the work. The Runners World plan has 2-3 days of rest or cross training each week. I don't think the plan writer envisioned the plan to be used as the run portion of a triathlon training plan, but who cares. I think it will work. I enjoy the running most of all three sports anyway.
The work outs I have done so far have been an "easy" 4 miles at 10:30 pace on Monday, a 5 mile tempo run on Wednesday, and another "easy" 4 miles at 10:30 pace today. Monday and Wednesday workouts were done on the treadmill, where as today's run was done outside. Fortunately I already have a 4 mile out and back route from work, so that was easy. I struggle to maintain a consistent pace on the road, especially with hills. I guess as I loose weight the hills will become less of an issue. I think I will use the treadmill for the speed work though because it is easier to set targeted pace on the treadmill.
I am enjoying the running for time now. Though my legs were significantly tired after my tempo run, this perspective will help me to get faster and make me run harder, and the running harder will help me to lose weight. I will keep everyone informed as the training plan progresses as to how well the 240lb triathlete can keep up with the sub-2-hour-half-marathon training plan.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
New PR for 5K Road Race!!!
This morning I ran the Michelin 5K road race.
Previous Personal Record for the 5K distance: 32 minutes 31 seconds (10 minutes 18 seconds per mile)
The time goal of this race: 31 minutes 00 seconds (9 minutes 58 seconds per mile)
The actual results of this race: 26 minutes 44 seconds (8 minutes 36 seconds per mile)
I could not believe it. If I had not been wearing my Garmin 305, I would have thought that the course was short, but the GPS doesn't lie. I am surprised and very happy. This race was not even planned or anything, Karina just asked if I wanted to run it because it was cheap ($5 entry) and it was part of the corporate shield race series, so her company gets some kind of points or something for the people that run for the company. I did think anything about it, but it just so happens that this week was a recovery week in my half Ironman training plan, so I had a lot of short easy sessions this week to give my body a chance to recover. I did a couple of short (30 minute) runs on the treadmill this week, instead of knocking out the mileage on the road. I wanted to take a break from all of the hills. I was fun to turn up the speed and run "fast" on the treadmill. All week I had been thinking about this morning's race. I knew that I had a chance to set a PR, and I had been thinking about running hard for this race. Hard running is not something that I have been doing at all. So I knew that I would have to be prepared to experience more effort than I am used to during this race.
I woke up this morning, took a shower, and had an Accel Gel as my breakfast. It is 90 calories with simple sugars, protein and caffeine. I like to have them on race morning because it is light and easy to digest and it gets the blood loaded and ready to rock. I was in the zone this morning, just focusing on the race. I have not been that intense about a race yet. Not sense high school, have I taken an athletic event that seriously. On the way to the race, Karina kept asking if I was ok, and if I was grumpy. I told her know, and later I explained that I was just really focusing on the task of running this race as hard as I could. I did not know what the experience was going to be like, but I knew that I was going to push it as hard as I could.
During the race I kept checking my Garmin, and I was really surprised to see the pace! When I passed the first mile marker, the time person yelled out 8:05 and my garmin said 8:06 pace for the first mile. I could not believe it. I was not hurting like I assumed I would be running a pace that is 2 minutes per mile faster than what I am used to (and 4 minutes faster per mile than I did at last weeks trail run). There were some hills on the run, but since I had not been running the hills I normally do all week, my legs were fresh and the hills were not that big of a deal.
The temperature was great this morning as well. I was 83 degrees and the humidity was 78%. It was overcast and looked like it might rain on us during the race. The weather was a welcome reprieve from the recent killer heat we have all had to run in sometimes. Over all I think that the conditions were favorable for me this morning, and I had a great race! The rest of the day involves a 50-60 mile bike ride and rest. You can check out the details of my race here.
This is me pushing hard (trying to run fast, not trying to poop) for a strong finish:
Previous Personal Record for the 5K distance: 32 minutes 31 seconds (10 minutes 18 seconds per mile)
The time goal of this race: 31 minutes 00 seconds (9 minutes 58 seconds per mile)
The actual results of this race: 26 minutes 44 seconds (8 minutes 36 seconds per mile)
I could not believe it. If I had not been wearing my Garmin 305, I would have thought that the course was short, but the GPS doesn't lie. I am surprised and very happy. This race was not even planned or anything, Karina just asked if I wanted to run it because it was cheap ($5 entry) and it was part of the corporate shield race series, so her company gets some kind of points or something for the people that run for the company. I did think anything about it, but it just so happens that this week was a recovery week in my half Ironman training plan, so I had a lot of short easy sessions this week to give my body a chance to recover. I did a couple of short (30 minute) runs on the treadmill this week, instead of knocking out the mileage on the road. I wanted to take a break from all of the hills. I was fun to turn up the speed and run "fast" on the treadmill. All week I had been thinking about this morning's race. I knew that I had a chance to set a PR, and I had been thinking about running hard for this race. Hard running is not something that I have been doing at all. So I knew that I would have to be prepared to experience more effort than I am used to during this race.
I woke up this morning, took a shower, and had an Accel Gel as my breakfast. It is 90 calories with simple sugars, protein and caffeine. I like to have them on race morning because it is light and easy to digest and it gets the blood loaded and ready to rock. I was in the zone this morning, just focusing on the race. I have not been that intense about a race yet. Not sense high school, have I taken an athletic event that seriously. On the way to the race, Karina kept asking if I was ok, and if I was grumpy. I told her know, and later I explained that I was just really focusing on the task of running this race as hard as I could. I did not know what the experience was going to be like, but I knew that I was going to push it as hard as I could.
During the race I kept checking my Garmin, and I was really surprised to see the pace! When I passed the first mile marker, the time person yelled out 8:05 and my garmin said 8:06 pace for the first mile. I could not believe it. I was not hurting like I assumed I would be running a pace that is 2 minutes per mile faster than what I am used to (and 4 minutes faster per mile than I did at last weeks trail run). There were some hills on the run, but since I had not been running the hills I normally do all week, my legs were fresh and the hills were not that big of a deal.
The temperature was great this morning as well. I was 83 degrees and the humidity was 78%. It was overcast and looked like it might rain on us during the race. The weather was a welcome reprieve from the recent killer heat we have all had to run in sometimes. Over all I think that the conditions were favorable for me this morning, and I had a great race! The rest of the day involves a 50-60 mile bike ride and rest. You can check out the details of my race here.
This is me pushing hard (trying to run fast, not trying to poop) for a strong finish:
Monday, August 16, 2010
Paris Mountain 7K Trail Run
Saturday morning was the Xterra Trail Run Series - Paris Mountain 7k Trail Run. It started at 8am, and the temperature was not that bad. The humidity was 100% though because it was raining all night. The trail was a little muddy and had some standing water in places, but hey this is a trail run. There was only 357 feet of elevation gain according to my Garmin, but this was a tough run. My weight for this race was 238lbs. I did not "train" for this race though; instead, I have been working on my Half IM training instead. I have added in a Friday Night Trail Run on this trail though, so that counts as race specific training I guess. I wanted to try to hit 50" on this race, and I barely missed it, finishing with 50 minutes and 30 seconds. This gave me a average pace of 12 minutes per mile.
Later that day, my 1/2 IM training plan called for a 2 hour ride. My legs were pretty shot after the race, so I only did 1 hour 37 minutes of easy riding for a total of about 25 miles.
Here are a few photos of me from the race:
and one of me finishing:
Later that day, my 1/2 IM training plan called for a 2 hour ride. My legs were pretty shot after the race, so I only did 1 hour 37 minutes of easy riding for a total of about 25 miles.
Here are a few photos of me from the race:
and one of me finishing:
Friday, August 13, 2010
Lions, and Cows, and Bears. Oh my!
Here is today's lunch time ride. I stayed in easy gear most of the ride per my training plan, but still got in about 18 miles. I am pleased with that distance for a lunch ride.
During the ride I saw some of the biggest cows I have ever seen. I mean they were huge! I see cows all of the time on my rides and runs, but these were really impressive. Since Karina and Sophie both love cows I wanted to take them to see the creatures this evening. After we had our good luck, night-before-a-race dinner at Chic-fil-a, we drove over to the farm where I saw the cows. My plan was to drive up to the farm house and ask the man if he minded if I let my daughter look at his cattle, as she was really fond of cows. I was counting on my daughters adorableness to help minimize the freak factor that I was really showing by knocking on this strangers door asking if I could look at his cattle. As we drove down the long driveway to the farm house I thought that this was a little strange, but I just knew it would be ok. I park the car and Karina tells me that her and Sophie will wait in the car while I go ask for visitation time with the bovine giants, so much for playing off Sophies cuteness. As I walk toward the front door, I see large dog chew toys laying around near the porch, and I realize there could be a grumpy 200lbs Rottweiler somewhere nearby that would not be happy about a strange man approaching the front door. I then wished that I thought things through a little more before I acted sometimes. Well, if I was going to be Cujo's evening snack, at least Sophie would get to see the Kings of Cattle. I rang the bell, and I heard dogs barking, and a man yelling "Watch out! Watch out!" from inside the house, and I could tell the yelling man was getting closer to the door quickly. I then was sure that I was going to turn around to see a frothy toothed canine preparing for a fat boy sandwich. I spin around to find no trace of my feared carnivorous companion. I then turn around to an opening door to see a hefty golden retriever, and a small schnauzer pushing past the resistance of their owner to get to the front porch and deliver sniffs and licks to their surprise visitor. I explained to the farmer, Larry, that my wife and daughter share a fascination with cows and I asked if he would mind if I let my daughter look at his cattle. I explained that I had seen his cattle during my lunch time bicycle ride and that his cows were the largest that I had ever seen. Larry beamed with the satisfaction that comes with unsolicited admiration for one's hard work. He said that he didn't mind at all if we looked at his cattle. I thanked him and went to fetch the girls from the car. As I walked back to the Kia, the schnauzer ran up to me and almost jumped into my arms. Both of the dogs were as kind and gentle as one could ever hope for, and Sophie seemed to really enjoy walking with the affection canine crew along the fence where the bovine giants were grazing. As we walked along the fence, Larry called to us to come back down the end of the fenced pasture nearest his house. As he did he opened a new bag of sweet feed and emptied it just inside the fence. He then called to the bovine giants and the they came running like stampeding titans to the area of the pasture that Karina, Sophie, and I had now moved to, near the fresh pile of sweet feed. Larry explained that they were Limousin cows originally bread in France, and that his biggest was just over 1700lbs. He stated that the bull he had just put into the freezer weighed in at over 2500lbs before slaughter. These impressive creatures devoured the pile of feed while Karina and Sophie delighted in their up close encounter with their favorite species.
It turns out Larry is quite the hunter and he was eager to show off his trophy room, and I can't blame him for a second. Even though I am not a hunter, his collection of taxidermal trophies is amazing - elk and moose from Saskatchewan, oryx, kudus, and buffalo from Tanzania. Even a black bear and a full-bodied lion were on beautiful display in the two large adjoining rooms made floor to ceiling of hand finished hardwood. As we marveled at his Hemmingway-like decoration, Larry graciously entertained us with stories ranging from African safaris to gun safety classes with his grandchildren. Eventually Sophie got naked as she often does and that was our signal it was time to get home, but the evening with the Titans of Tenderloins and the Great White Hunter was memorable to say the least.
Tomorrow is the Xterra 7K Trail Run at Paris Mountain State Park. This will be my first trail race, and based on what I saw at the previous events in this series, it should be a blast. Though as I right this I hear thunderclaps outside which could mean that tomorrows race could turn into an uphill mud run. Let's hope for the best.
During the ride I saw some of the biggest cows I have ever seen. I mean they were huge! I see cows all of the time on my rides and runs, but these were really impressive. Since Karina and Sophie both love cows I wanted to take them to see the creatures this evening. After we had our good luck, night-before-a-race dinner at Chic-fil-a, we drove over to the farm where I saw the cows. My plan was to drive up to the farm house and ask the man if he minded if I let my daughter look at his cattle, as she was really fond of cows. I was counting on my daughters adorableness to help minimize the freak factor that I was really showing by knocking on this strangers door asking if I could look at his cattle. As we drove down the long driveway to the farm house I thought that this was a little strange, but I just knew it would be ok. I park the car and Karina tells me that her and Sophie will wait in the car while I go ask for visitation time with the bovine giants, so much for playing off Sophies cuteness. As I walk toward the front door, I see large dog chew toys laying around near the porch, and I realize there could be a grumpy 200lbs Rottweiler somewhere nearby that would not be happy about a strange man approaching the front door. I then wished that I thought things through a little more before I acted sometimes. Well, if I was going to be Cujo's evening snack, at least Sophie would get to see the Kings of Cattle. I rang the bell, and I heard dogs barking, and a man yelling "Watch out! Watch out!" from inside the house, and I could tell the yelling man was getting closer to the door quickly. I then was sure that I was going to turn around to see a frothy toothed canine preparing for a fat boy sandwich. I spin around to find no trace of my feared carnivorous companion. I then turn around to an opening door to see a hefty golden retriever, and a small schnauzer pushing past the resistance of their owner to get to the front porch and deliver sniffs and licks to their surprise visitor. I explained to the farmer, Larry, that my wife and daughter share a fascination with cows and I asked if he would mind if I let my daughter look at his cattle. I explained that I had seen his cattle during my lunch time bicycle ride and that his cows were the largest that I had ever seen. Larry beamed with the satisfaction that comes with unsolicited admiration for one's hard work. He said that he didn't mind at all if we looked at his cattle. I thanked him and went to fetch the girls from the car. As I walked back to the Kia, the schnauzer ran up to me and almost jumped into my arms. Both of the dogs were as kind and gentle as one could ever hope for, and Sophie seemed to really enjoy walking with the affection canine crew along the fence where the bovine giants were grazing. As we walked along the fence, Larry called to us to come back down the end of the fenced pasture nearest his house. As he did he opened a new bag of sweet feed and emptied it just inside the fence. He then called to the bovine giants and the they came running like stampeding titans to the area of the pasture that Karina, Sophie, and I had now moved to, near the fresh pile of sweet feed. Larry explained that they were Limousin cows originally bread in France, and that his biggest was just over 1700lbs. He stated that the bull he had just put into the freezer weighed in at over 2500lbs before slaughter. These impressive creatures devoured the pile of feed while Karina and Sophie delighted in their up close encounter with their favorite species.
It turns out Larry is quite the hunter and he was eager to show off his trophy room, and I can't blame him for a second. Even though I am not a hunter, his collection of taxidermal trophies is amazing - elk and moose from Saskatchewan, oryx, kudus, and buffalo from Tanzania. Even a black bear and a full-bodied lion were on beautiful display in the two large adjoining rooms made floor to ceiling of hand finished hardwood. As we marveled at his Hemmingway-like decoration, Larry graciously entertained us with stories ranging from African safaris to gun safety classes with his grandchildren. Eventually Sophie got naked as she often does and that was our signal it was time to get home, but the evening with the Titans of Tenderloins and the Great White Hunter was memorable to say the least.
Tomorrow is the Xterra 7K Trail Run at Paris Mountain State Park. This will be my first trail race, and based on what I saw at the previous events in this series, it should be a blast. Though as I right this I hear thunderclaps outside which could mean that tomorrows race could turn into an uphill mud run. Let's hope for the best.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
July's Totals and Hickory Knob 2010
Bike: 7h 28m 49s - 133.84 Mi
Run: 22h 22m 30s - 116.07 Mi
Swim: 22m 26s - 1000 M
I really skipped out on swimming in July. I only went to the pool once.
I just signed up for the Hickory Knob Sprint Triathlon today! I am very excited about that. Last year the Hickory Knob Sprint was my first triathlon, my first race of any kind. Thought we are attempting to minimize expenses in preparation for the upcoming baby, we found the funds to cover the expenses of participating in this race. This really helps focus my training. I want to see how much of an improvement I can make over last years time. You can find my full race report from last years race here.
Summary of last years race:
Race day weight: about 252 lbs
Swim: 546.81 yards (500 Meters) in 20 minutes 37 seconds (pace = 03m 46s / 100yards)
Transistion 1: 3 minutes 59 seconds
Bike: 10 miles in 38 minutes and 36 seconds (speed = 15.54 mile/hr)
Transistion 2: 1 minute 26 seconds
Run: 3.11 miles (5Km) in 33 minutes and 58 seconds (pace = 10m 55s min/mile)
Run: 22h 22m 30s - 116.07 Mi
Swim: 22m 26s - 1000 M
I really skipped out on swimming in July. I only went to the pool once.
I just signed up for the Hickory Knob Sprint Triathlon today! I am very excited about that. Last year the Hickory Knob Sprint was my first triathlon, my first race of any kind. Thought we are attempting to minimize expenses in preparation for the upcoming baby, we found the funds to cover the expenses of participating in this race. This really helps focus my training. I want to see how much of an improvement I can make over last years time. You can find my full race report from last years race here.
Summary of last years race:
Race day weight: about 252 lbs
Swim: 546.81 yards (500 Meters) in 20 minutes 37 seconds (pace = 03m 46s / 100yards)
Transistion 1: 3 minutes 59 seconds
Bike: 10 miles in 38 minutes and 36 seconds (speed = 15.54 mile/hr)
Transistion 2: 1 minute 26 seconds
Run: 3.11 miles (5Km) in 33 minutes and 58 seconds (pace = 10m 55s min/mile)
Today's Hot Tempo Run
Here is a link to today's 2 mile tempo run followed by a jog back to the office. It was so hot today but not as hot as it has been. It is currently 91 degrees with a heat index of 98. Almost all of this run is not shaded, so it gets a little brutal this time of year.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Out with the old
As has been clearly demonstrated thus far in this blog, October of 2008 was an eventful time in the life of Family Bowles. I knew the accident and the charges were a signal of needed changes in my life, but I was not sure of what those changes were exactly or how to go about the action of change.
I had always wondered if I had a drinking problem, especially since my father was an active alcoholic until his death in 2005. The night I was arrested I stood in the holding cell and I knew that I could no longer drink alcohol. It was no longer a question. It was easy to see the progression of harm that had come to my life because of my choice to continue to imbibe. I had previously attended AA for a couple of years before and during graduate school, but I left the fellowship after grad school. It was not long before I began drinking again. A couple of beers with buddies after work would eventually turn into occasional late night bar hopping and then daily use of alcohol and pot. The warning signs of needed change were present, but I did not want to acknowledge them. I rationalized that I since I had a good job, and I was not getting into any trouble, that I must be fine. The funny thing about the truth is that it does not stay hidden for long, no matter how hard you attempt to ignore it.
Though I did not want to admit it, my marijuana usage had become my main priority, and probably the most important thing in my life. Though I had quit drinking several times in my life, once I started smoking pot at the age of 23, I had not really ever stopped using for more than a few days at any time, even during my membership in Alcoholics Anonymous. I convinced myself that I had a problem with alcohol, not pot, and since the only requirement for membership in AA was a desire to stop drinking, I considered my use of pot as an outside issue and therefore irrelevant to my membership in AA. Oh, how easy it is to convince the willing! So once we found an attorney to handle the legal issues I was facing, I decided to look for help with my personal issues. I decided I would find an AA meeting.
I attended my first AA meeting in several years on a Wednesday night, less than one week after the accident. I sat in the meeting as a newcomer to the program again, and listened to the familiar readings and the familiar stories. One of the comforting things about AA is that no matter where you are, you can find a meeting, and even though the people in the meeting may be different, the stories, problems and - most importantly - the solution, are always the same. I hung around after the meeting and got a few phone numbers, and even asked a guy to be my temporary sponsor. Two nights later my wife had plans with friends and took Sophie with her, leaving me home alone on a Friday night, exactly one week since my arrest. It had been a long and stressful week, and I wanted a break. I still had my stash of pot in the garage, and I decided that no harm would come from a couple of bong hits. That smoking session was probably the worst high I had ever had. I could not enjoy it at all, instead all I could experience was the guilt of the accident, and self hatred at the fact that I was getting high even after all that had transpired. It was awful, there was no longer any escape. I couldn't get away from my feelings. What was I going to do now? The illusions that I had built for myself were starting to fade, the truth was not going to stay hidden from view any longer. During the worst crisis I had ever faced, I was realizing that I was going to have to face it. I was realizing that for me, there was no more escaping. I found myself at what I would later would later call the F.E.A.R. cross roads. F.E.A.R. is an acronym highlighting the ultimate choice that every addict or alcoholic has to make: I could either face everything and recover, or f*** everything and run. Well it looked like my running days were over, and I was going to have to face up to my decisions, face up to my feelings, and face up to myself. How the hell was I going to do that? I sat on my couch experiencing the worst high I had ever had, and I felt more alone than I ever had. I could not even reach the God of my understanding. At that moment it was me and my disease, and I fully experienced complete powerlessness for possibly the first time in my life. Alone and scared, I did not know what I was going to do. Little did I know the wonderful universe had already been putting things in place that would help me.
It was time to try something new.
I had always wondered if I had a drinking problem, especially since my father was an active alcoholic until his death in 2005. The night I was arrested I stood in the holding cell and I knew that I could no longer drink alcohol. It was no longer a question. It was easy to see the progression of harm that had come to my life because of my choice to continue to imbibe. I had previously attended AA for a couple of years before and during graduate school, but I left the fellowship after grad school. It was not long before I began drinking again. A couple of beers with buddies after work would eventually turn into occasional late night bar hopping and then daily use of alcohol and pot. The warning signs of needed change were present, but I did not want to acknowledge them. I rationalized that I since I had a good job, and I was not getting into any trouble, that I must be fine. The funny thing about the truth is that it does not stay hidden for long, no matter how hard you attempt to ignore it.
Though I did not want to admit it, my marijuana usage had become my main priority, and probably the most important thing in my life. Though I had quit drinking several times in my life, once I started smoking pot at the age of 23, I had not really ever stopped using for more than a few days at any time, even during my membership in Alcoholics Anonymous. I convinced myself that I had a problem with alcohol, not pot, and since the only requirement for membership in AA was a desire to stop drinking, I considered my use of pot as an outside issue and therefore irrelevant to my membership in AA. Oh, how easy it is to convince the willing! So once we found an attorney to handle the legal issues I was facing, I decided to look for help with my personal issues. I decided I would find an AA meeting.
I attended my first AA meeting in several years on a Wednesday night, less than one week after the accident. I sat in the meeting as a newcomer to the program again, and listened to the familiar readings and the familiar stories. One of the comforting things about AA is that no matter where you are, you can find a meeting, and even though the people in the meeting may be different, the stories, problems and - most importantly - the solution, are always the same. I hung around after the meeting and got a few phone numbers, and even asked a guy to be my temporary sponsor. Two nights later my wife had plans with friends and took Sophie with her, leaving me home alone on a Friday night, exactly one week since my arrest. It had been a long and stressful week, and I wanted a break. I still had my stash of pot in the garage, and I decided that no harm would come from a couple of bong hits. That smoking session was probably the worst high I had ever had. I could not enjoy it at all, instead all I could experience was the guilt of the accident, and self hatred at the fact that I was getting high even after all that had transpired. It was awful, there was no longer any escape. I couldn't get away from my feelings. What was I going to do now? The illusions that I had built for myself were starting to fade, the truth was not going to stay hidden from view any longer. During the worst crisis I had ever faced, I was realizing that I was going to have to face it. I was realizing that for me, there was no more escaping. I found myself at what I would later would later call the F.E.A.R. cross roads. F.E.A.R. is an acronym highlighting the ultimate choice that every addict or alcoholic has to make: I could either face everything and recover, or f*** everything and run. Well it looked like my running days were over, and I was going to have to face up to my decisions, face up to my feelings, and face up to myself. How the hell was I going to do that? I sat on my couch experiencing the worst high I had ever had, and I felt more alone than I ever had. I could not even reach the God of my understanding. At that moment it was me and my disease, and I fully experienced complete powerlessness for possibly the first time in my life. Alone and scared, I did not know what I was going to do. Little did I know the wonderful universe had already been putting things in place that would help me.
It was time to try something new.
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